It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize