I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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