i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
