id be glad to
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
