K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
