My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Someone shattered a urinal.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
