I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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