sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
