So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize