So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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