I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
