what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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