I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It's rum buckets o'clock
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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