Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
foreskin is a definite game changer
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
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