hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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