so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
