I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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