i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
