Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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