I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
