and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
