I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
