Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
