I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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