She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize