I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
