Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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