Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
How drunk are you?
Completed.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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