I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
