did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize