Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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