New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
