she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
