Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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