The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
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if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
My ATM looks so different sober.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
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I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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