The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize