do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
