Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize