So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
