An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
