I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
