first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
