Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
