the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
