me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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