distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize