Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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