i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
