i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
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woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
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I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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