Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.