only if we run a train.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.