This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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