Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
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