Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
