Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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Randomize
