Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
