I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
