im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
where am i from again
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
