Heybabeimwearingurpanties
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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