So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
