I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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