yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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