EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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