Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
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He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
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When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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