I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
