Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
