Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
