is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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