Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
