The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
